The endlessly cheerful Agalouts are back, and naturally we had to visit their cave this morning. It was raining cats and dogs but that didn’t deter Grey and Blue from driving up on slippy stuff to the Fairy Doll. A bit of banter about the UK trip and off we went again. I was ready to go back to bed as the weather was so awful, but the humans put on their Pacamac’s, parked the car only halfway up the hill, and made me walk the rest of the way to the restaurant at Mont Caly where they tucked into a hearty lunch. Naturally, nothing for me.
Back we came down the slope after lunch. I tried to inject a bit of cheer by chasing after pine cones, but the humans were rubbish at kicking and throwing the cones so it was not much of a challenge. Janetor said that her relation played footall for Millwall. Well if they did, the kicking skill was not passsed down. If only they had remembered to bring the ball thrower and a new tennis ball, I could have had a decent game. As it was, I had to pretend to enjoy their little challenges.
Apparently, I have got to stay in Cozyland for a few more days since the Agas are going back to Blighty for more fun on Thursday. Suits me as I get the chance to run more rings around Blue and Grey. To prove the point, when we got back, although it was at least an hour before the “Janetor decreed eating time” of 5pm, I launched a sustained crying and sqeaking session and kept it up until Blue cracked and put my dinner out.
Bit of a quiet day today. The adults were grumpy because the weather had turned bad and the poor things could not go out skiing in the pouring rain. They have got very expensive raincoats, but naturally, they don’t want to get them wet.
So Grey went out to see his pal, Bernie. He is the one who supplies my tennis balls. Blue Rinse took me for a walk and that was about it until the afternoon when they both took me out for another walk. This was much better with plenty of time to play in the snow until I managed to lose the ball. Still, we had some excitement on the way back. As we passed down the road, I sniffed the presence of a large piece of baguette which had been abandoned a few metres up the mountain. I went and retrieved it, but Blue went berserk and made me drop it after much chasing and shouting. Crickey, she has got a gob on her, that one. She wrenched the bread away and put it on the top of the bus stop! No way I could get that, so that’s the last time I offer her the chance to share my loaf.
Finally, when we got back, I was offered those horrible dry chunks. Why not let me eat the tasty French bread. Anyway, I had my supper, they had theirs, and before you could say “thank you and good night”, they were asleep.
The Agalouts are back tomorrow so I have no doubt they will have brought back lovely treats for me from the UK. If not, they can go straight back and get some and I will stay here. At least I am allowed to sleep where the fancy takes me.
It has been a long time since I put keyboard to screen and wrote about politics in the UK. Last year, the election for London Mayor (necessary to get rid of Bogey Boris) and the upcoming Brexit vote attracted most of my attention. Well, we all know that the London Mayor thing ended very happily with Mr Khan (no, not the one from the TV show) got elected, and promptly reversed the decision by Bogus to block the new stadium for AFC Wimbledon and allowed it to go ahead. Wimbledon celebrated by beating Plymouth 2-0 in the Wembley Play Off Final for Division One, and old Grey was beside himself with happiness on all fronts.
However it could not last, and in June, rather like turkeys voting for Christmas and lemmings playing “follow my lying leader”, the British voted to leave the EU. The Government, or rather Mr Cameron, promptly resigned, Farago, miniGove, and Bogus all thought they were both Brutus and Caesar at the same time and annihilated each other, and St Theresa May became PM, or Maggie May 2 as Rod Stewart might have sung. This was all bad enough and even now, eight months on, we don’t know what we voted for, how it will be implemented and we have yet to find a single person who will be better off once whatever it is has been accomplished. I am still struggling to come to terms with all this and what it will mean for dogs and the availability of that delicious French dog food. However I was just coming to a view when the biggest disaster of all hit us squarely in the groin. And I don’t mean AFC Wimbledon losing to Sutton United in the FA Cup 3rd Round replay.
No, the likely remaining lifetime of the planet has been rudely shocked by the Apes in the US. Or “Us Apes” as they are often known. Contrary to all expectations, they have made Donald Chump the most “u” “s” president of all times. A complete clown, and a parody of a human being, they let him rig the election by getting his handler, Mr Pyootoff, together with a minority of the voters, to hack into the voting computer and put in more kilobytes than the nice Mrs Clintons-Cards. As a result, he is now sending out executive orders, tweets and alternative facts every few minutes. The humans around the world are dazed and confused, but what does it mean for dogs?
Well, for a start, he has got a dog. The Sun (which never peddles alternative facts) had a headline recently
“Trump picks Goldendoodle as his White House pet…and he’s named it Patton after the legendary WWII general”
although an American news source had another headline
Donald Trump has no idea what dogs are or what they do
Well, I can tell him what dogs do. They sleep and shit all day. Based on his performance so far, I hope Donald Chump ends up doing the same, as the challenge should keep him occupied 24/7 as they say in the Planet of the US Apes. I am sure we will hear more of this, but for the moment, I am beginning to wonder if a few prayers might be in order. Everything else has failed, so in with faith and out with facts and logic. Woof woof.
Here I am again at the Guest Kennel, and frankly, I am looking forward to a couple of day’s rest. Last week at the Fairy Doll has been very hectic and not a little stressful. The Catalans arrived just over a week ago; it seems hardly a few hours since they were here before but they simply cannot stay away from the place. This time they turned up with the junior puppy suffering from some form of chest infection. He would have been an “unhappy bunny” had he been a rabbit. As it was, he was most generous and having grumped for a few days, he passed it on to the Janetor. As she does, she struggled on by skiing, doing lessons, taking me for walks and all the other stuff, while the Lord of the Manor seemed to spend most afternoons having a kip.
The rest of the Catalans were their usual insufferable jolliness. Walking up ruddy mountains before breakfast, and playing with their puppies from dawn to dusk (and several hours after dusk in most cases). It all meant that I got a lot less attention than normal, and I have noted that the supply of proper treats has dried up. And then, to cap it all on the last day, the adults (for that is how they describe themselves) managed to scrape the wing of their car, and the younger puppy, having recovered from his infection, promptly went out on the snow and tested the breaking strain of his leg bone. It failed. The activity to sort it out meant that I was on my tod for the rest of the day until Grey and Blue arrived to take me away.
That need arose because the Catalans have now gone home and the Agalouts have naffed off to the UK for some party for an ancient friend who is now one year more ancient. Believe it of not, they are back tomorrow for a couple of days, and then going back for yet another ancient rite of some sort. Hopefully I will just stay here until all this whizzing around just because someone has got older has come to an end. Although, logically, this will never be the case. Everyone gets older every week, so why only party once a year, or every ten years in this case.
So here I am at the Guest Kennel and very cozy it is too. Grey spent last night trying to get his foreign satellite box to work so that he and Blue could watch grown men chase a tennis ball around in Australia. He failed to get it to work and moaned off to bed. However, this morning, having taken me for a one minute walk, he looked in the “TV Temps” and found that it was live on French telly. Oh Joy. No need for a box!! So then I had to sleep for about four hours while he and Blue kept shouting at the TV set with a bizarre mixture of expletives and encouragement. As far as I could see, the players on the screen were not as good as me with a tennis ball, and they got new ones every few minutes. I am still making do with a spittle soaked lump of cloth and rubber that Bernie threw out months ago.
Then there was football and cricket for Grey to follow, and old Blue (“old” because I am told she is also ancient in a few days time) went off to play with her computer. I could see the day slipping away with my getting no more attention here than I was getting at the Fairy Doll, so I kicked up a pretty impressive whining session which finally broke their resolve to ignore me and off we went for a walk in the snow. After that, I was allocated my usual miserable amount of dried food which I scoffed down in seconds, then I wrote my blog and by the time you read this, I will be fast asleep. A demain.
A “Happy New Year” to you all. Around here they can he heard to say “Bonne Annee” which I think means the same thing except that after Brexit, we will not be allowed to use it, even in fun, without being written off as unreformed Remainers by the Faragistas.
Talking about fun, I find myself today back with Grey and Blue Rinse. It is just for the day while the Agalouts have some business outside of Les Gets which does not, apparently, require my input. Can you believe that dear readers? Grey and Blue have their son here. He seems very nice except that he wears a “Mad Max” hat and keeps confusing me with some dead hound called “Harry” once owned by his brother. But he means well, and is a great thrower of the tennis ball. (You may remember that last year, Grey wrecked his shoulder and as a result, his ball throwing was pathetic even with the aid of the ball sling.)
The owners brought me round soon after 9:30am when it was that cold that the brass monkeys were still complaining. There had been a bit of snow last night (well, actually about a dogbowlfull spread around the whole of Les Gets), but the humans were so excited, they were shrieking and talking in high pitched voices. I find that hard to cope with first thing, so to shut them up, I promptly puked up all over the carpet as soon as I got in. That wiped the smile off their faces and the ear piercing screeches came to an abrupt end. Blue Rinse took me for a quick walk around the chalet, why I don’t know. What I wanted was a treat for helping them practice their carpet shampooing skills. No such luck, just a hint to “drink some bloody water”.
After that, things got a bit quieter as I gained control, and after lunch I was able to sleep on Grey’s lap while he was comatose having had his bowl of soup and a slice of toast. Crickey, they live well these people. After that, Blue Rinse and Max Hat took me for a walk, and when they were knackered, we came back and I tested the new location of my mat which is right in front of the fire. Blue Rinse is now cooking food for the Agalouts for when they get back, and you never know, she might remember to put out those delicious hard biscuits at 5pm which is all I am allowed in this place.
More anon, and if this weather keeps up, I will have time to update you on the topics of the day including my dog’s eye view of the turnip that has been elected President of US (actually, “Them” not “Us”), and we can take a considered view of the Brexit range of Turkeys that have voted for Christmas to be a year-round festival of poultry stuffing.
So it is now 2017 and over six months since I was outsourced last year. Since then, much water has flowed under the bridge, some cheery and some not so. The owners, after being back in the UK for most of the remainder of 2017 are now back in Les Gets despite the fact there is no snow for them to go sliding around the hills. For the next two or three months, I will be at a loose end and probably have to endure being farmed out from time to time to other kennels in the Codgers group while the Agalouts go tripping off without me. So as and when I can, I will keep my blog going. And the first post of 2017 is already in place.
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